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Monday, March 5, 2012

The Interview: Take Two

Barring a huge mistake,(like the one I made yesterday), I will have spent 5 hours on this interview with That Bastard From Bellingham. Why, do you ask? Because we are both verbal hams, meaning that we are so very long of wind. I think Bastard's gale-force power out-moves my own cool breeze,but we are both made from the same bolt of cloth, so to say.  This intro is to prepare you for the long interview below. If you need to just nibble, take your time, all of the text will still be here when you're hungry for more.

 I had thought about splitting it up, but you wouldn't be able to see the grand design of sheer awesomeness that is That Bastard From Bellingham in the rawest form. Yesterday, I had a huge snafu with something as fail-proof as copy-and-paste, but he shrugged it off with nary a concern and was ready for the second try.

We chose to stare straight in the face of my past fail and use G+ hangout chat again. I know now why I like it. If you set the chat to public, you'll hopefully get a few Randoom people popping in. I affectionately call these "poop-ins". We had two yesterday and one of them actually added Bast to his circles. Fun stuff! Now to prepare you for the interview. To shorten things, I will be referring to Bast as B, and Me as S. Together, we are the biggest pile of BS on the internet! To the interview!

 The G+ Chat was very cold and grey. I was supposed to meet him here at half after the hour. It was Thirty-eight after. I was looking at myself in video form, for what seemed like an eternity.

"Who is this Adonis?", I quipped in the chat field, as the sole entrant in the hangout.

As an answer from the universe itself, a poop-in happened.

'alex vans joined group'- I typed furiously to keep his attention. I wanted him to stay and view the magnanimous heroism that is That Bastard From Bellingham, but before I could hit enter on my persuasive plea:

'alex vans left group'- Awwww, crud. Guess I'll just sit here and primp. Got the lighting just right. Arched the ol' eyebrow, and steadied myself for the sheer magnitude of what was to come.

B- FFFFFFFashionably late!

S- 's alright, we've already had a poop-in, but he left because it was so dark before you came in.

B-HMMMMM! Time to lighten the mood a bit, shall we? Coffee? Muffin? Oatmeal + caramel muffin =


S- Yeah. I'm about to down some coffee.

B- I'm working on the final cup outta six. Well, it's more like four and a half cups of

     coffee, the rest is milk and honey.

S- My cup is about 16 ounces shy. Refill must happen.

B- TO THE REFILLS! Then shall we begin, hmm?

S- Begin, we shall. How do you turn a frown upside down?

B- OH. Oh my, right out the gate with a tough one...for myself or someone else?

S- Both.

B- lolol. For someone else, it's easy. It can range from as unphysical as my usual bad humor and jokes, to

     something as physical as a full-blown rubdown. I DO happen to have magical hands, and I've mentioned

     other various methods such as my scratchy bathing mitts. But part of it is intuition, you see...

      sometimes a person needs to be left alone, or to wallow a little in those darker emotions. It's a part of

      life, y'know? I just have to ensure that I'm there for what they need. IF I care about 'em enough, that

      is...people I don't know usually don't exist to me, until I meet 'em. Now...for myself?...hmm. Hmm hmm

      hmm. I won't lie, don't have any reason to. I'm not always as bubbly, peppy, and insanely awesome.

      Last night, for instance...for certain reasons, I became the exact opposite of how I was for damn near

      the whole day. I have hair trigger set of emotions, and sometimes they can be quite intense.So I wrote

      myself out of it. ::nods:: I'm willing to share it with you sometime, if you'd like to read it...normally I delete

      such a writing after I feel better, but I find that "writing myself through an issue" is the best way for me to

      get control again and become me again. I...mentioned my muse in the previous interview which we never

      did and doesn't exist. Sometimes, it honestly feels like the price for my writing are these moments, these

      times when my darker imagination and emotions run rampant against my wishes. Never physically, just in

      my head, in my heart.

S-  I hear you. One time I was told by a woman I thought to be my fiance that she wanted to do my

      best friend. They went to the room and did it, all the while I wrote a 5 page tirade that ended in

     "Everything's going to be fine"

B-  ...woah.

S-  So, yeah. The pen is my psychiatrist.

B-  Hmm hmm hmm. Man, that could've ended in three or four different ways if I were in your shoes.

      Join in, rape HIM then dump her, dump her, pound both into oblivion. Or "pound" both into oblivion.

      Either way, man...I actually would hold more blame on your best friend then her. I mean in MY

      relationships, there are clearly-defined boundaries, y'knowwhatImean? If we're in an open relationship,

      cool. If we're not, we're not. But yer best friend? Eeeey, no cockblockin' ya homies, yo. No doggin'

      their chicks too.

S-  Next question, pizza toppings, your favorites, and what do they mean about a person?

B-  Pizza toppings are an important subject. ::nodnods::What pizza toppings a person chooses tells a lot

      about that person, y'knowwhatImean?And for me, I happen to like any permutation of extra cheese,

      black olives, white onions, and pepperoni. I did forget one thing though....::grins:: Bacon. But that's

      pretty much  an afterthought most of the time.

S-  Canadian? Or breakfast pig?

B-  Delicious breakfast piggy.

S-  I oink in agreement.

B-  Seriously, if I'm gonna go "gourmet as a motherfucker," ya put bacon on that grouping of heaven.

S-   Most places only offer the Canadian kind, so if you say bacon, they slather that curled up ham quarters

       all over your pizza. Yuck!

B-  Pffft, nigga this ain't Hawaiini! I'm not askin' for kona pig and kahlua, nigga, I  said BACON! Yeah that's

      a punchable offense where I'm from, yo. You do NOT mix that shit up. Canadian bacon isn't even a real

      bacon, it's more akin to a ham slice.

S-  Agreed.

B-  God, now I"m startin' to get my RageTRIGGER Down some coffee, hangin' out, good


S-  Let's soothe the beast with another less-rageTRIGGERing question then. How many songs do you have

      for AU? Completed and on board.

B-  OH my~! 20-40, the figure stays the same.  Now keep in mind, I AM adding the stuff from No Rhymes

      in there, since the band has proven to like the No Rhymes concept and the songs for "A Night of

      Complete Horrorshow." Plus there are a clear five songs I have yet to finish and/or tweak the timing out,

      kinda like Coffee and Creatine.And, well, you've read that right? The lyrics for that jazz/swing piece?

S-  Yes. The horns on that will be drool worthy, for sure.

B-  The timing just needs to be tweaked a little, maybe even the song itself lengthened a bit lyrics wise,

      but is otherwise BOOM ready for grilling. Oh, oh BABY do I got plans for that."Five Smooth Stones"

      and "Guns and Wine" are the other two jazz pieces I'll eventually pen. But for some reason, the

      Bloggerati/G-inspired Coffe and Creatine came first. My muse. She's a bitch who hates to be controlled,

      which sucks because I'm such a sadist...::sighs::

S-  Inspiration from fellow bloggers is a great thing to harvest.

B-  Indeed!

S- That brings us to the next. What are some of your favorite blogs and why?(you can't include me)

B-  BLASPHEMY. HEATHENOUS BLASPHEMY. The four......shit, lemme just

      block this shit, you'll get the links later. Or not. The Pope hisself (Tim Bowen), A Beer For The

      Shower, I'm really diggin' on Jeanne's stuff, G's Bloggerati and Satirical Blog, my homeboys Bonafide

      Jones and Kristjan. My homey, Ace is gettin' back into blogging with Danger Combo and he's already

      comin' correct and direct with the political chatter...Zombie's Everywhere and Copyboy as well as The

      Rambling Person, but those are more for entertainment than anything. I'm also down with quite a few

      musical blogs, like LuDubs's stuff. I don't even like dubstep and the dude hooks it up proper. I'm also

      waiting for Sketchar to come back to the scene with all of his death metal and screamo stuff. I've

      actually found a band or two that I like thorugh him, for all that I fuckin' HAET screamo.....but these are

      just off the top of my head. I practically live on my blogwatch....and Randoom Blog. I DO WHAT I


S-  I said not me.

B-  I don't even read your other blog, you never post in it.  Randoom is good. MY POWERS ARE MANY    


S-  Presentation has a lot to do with it. I agree with that and follow a lot of those, but not all. I look forward

      to hearing Ace's views.

B-   Oh, he's basically a skinny, darker version of me with certain subjects...and for the life of me he's

       gotten deeper into politics while I stopped caring after I came to Bellingham.Well, LIGHTLY caring but

       still, he's waaaay deeper into the scene than I am. Makes me kinda jelly donut 'bout it.

S-  Don't worry, you have your own domain.


S-  Speaking of that, how did you go about getting from blogger to your own domain?

B-  OH! Well, I actually blame Bonafide Jones for all that mess.  We's homies. Anyway, Bonafide Jones got

      HIS domain, and it dawned on me that The Pen Is my Sword would make a great domain. No one

      snagged it, so I did. Now, a friend o' mine told me about this internet domain hosting service

      in the bahamas....Anonymous whois, the whole bundle of wax, for under ten bucks. I've heard a lot of

      bad shit about GoDaddy, so I went with these guys instead. I had to get around this block concerning

      programming that's in my head, but once I did it got awesome. So I registered the domain, set up the

      subdomains, linked 'em all through Bloggers' in-house settings. All except for the recent two, Legion

      HQ! (for Anubis Unit) and KAOS: Chaos Party Radio. Those two will eventually get domains of their


S-  Right on. I have a lot of those blocks that you describe. I am working to get past them.

B-  Indeed~! I designed a website so bad that I deleted it and never programmed again. x_X Until


S- Switching gears now. What is the last randomly funny thing that's happened to you, or to another, while

     out in public?

B- ::laughs:: Despite how dangerous it is, I've been kissed in public by a pretty little thing...I"m fairly

     certain she was legal. Just grabbed me by the shoulder, didn't notice that I was about to clock

     her, then just up and kissed me. Then she realized I was someone else. >XD Apparently there's another

     thick dude who dresses in all black with a ponytail around here.

S- Hahahahaha!

B- ...thankfully, I don't have herpes. ;3 I mean, you can never be TOO careful nowadays. Still, for what it

     was worth she was a nice kisser~! Dunno if that's funny or not, but it's certainly random. ^^)b

S- I laughed, so it's funny to me.

B- PFFFT! I'm just glad that she was clean...or at least she was when she kissed me~! But it's like I always    

     say, a gentleman should keep his mouth sweet and clean, so should a lady. You never know when you're

     going to get kissed. I'm just glad her kissing me was faster than my clocking her - I react violently when


S- So you didn't technically steal a kiss, but won one in a sweepstakes that mistook you for the winner?

     Punching and kissing, I've got a story for that.

B- LOL yup. Whomever the recipient is is a lucky motherfucker though. Hmm hmm hmm. I'm fairly

     certain she liked the kiss, even though I was the wrong dude. At least I've never had any issues with my

     kisses before! I have nothing but good references as towards the quality of my kiss.

S- Did you say to her "Tell your friends!"?

B- LOL no, I was kinda stuck in-between gears. It's not that I lack a flight capability, it's fight is

     permanently stuck on "Tank." So to go from fighter to lover and quite confused as to who this lovely

     warm bundle in my arms is....yeah. I didn't even unball my fist until she took off running after apologizing.

S- I can understand that.

B- God, this was about....four years ago. ::chuckles::Hmmm. Wonder if she ever found that guy.

S- What is your idea of Utopia?

B- Huh. Reckon I'm going to be utilitarian about this...actually, no. I've already found Utopia, on

     netflix nonetheless. Y'know, I've got a post about a show I found on Netflix...well, a mini-series?

     Called "Riverworld." It's a world that's ten times bigger than Earth, is pretty much a pangeic mass criss-

     crossed and broken up by a massive river...rivers? River. Each day, once per day, these kiosk-like things

     dispense food and drugs and drink to anyone. And the point of it is that, as it was made by aliens, is to

     help humans achieve enlightenment by stripping away external needs and conflicts and allowing them to

     focus on the internal.I'm a big believer that in order to control and become one with the outerverse, one

     must balance it with the innerverse. And that show really kinda gets to me. Now, the biggest fear is also    

     stripped away. In Riverworld, I mean...if you die, you're immediately taken by the river to some kind of

     station where you'll be reborn in any number of time, either days or years. But you'll be reborn as you,

     fully healed, peak physical condition, with whatever clothes and weaponry you're used to. Now, what

     makes Riverworld such a lovely place to me? It basically contains every human being from Earth ever.

     This also means the not-so-cool kind. Barbarians, asshole knights, conquistadores OH GOD

     CONQUISTADORES...essentially it's humanity being assholes to one another again. Slave camps,

     strong roving bands of bandits taking control of the kiosks and forcing the weaker or confused/lost souls

     into slavery for their portion of food per day. Yeah. To me, that's heaven. Bad guys to slay, eternal

     freedom to do nothing but practice my arts, both martial, vocal, and written.

S- It does sound like a very trying, but free time, your utopia.

B- The materials are out there, we just need to break free of our chains to the Big companies and grasp it.

     It's probably an achievable utopia, y'know. Now that the ban on genetics have been lifted, they've

     already figured out how to heal heart attack scarring!

S- I'm with you on that. My heart is very scarred, but not from attacks.

B- ::chuckles::

S- Conveyances. What do you use to get around, and what is your dream vehicle?

B- Hmmmmm. I currently drive a dodge dynasty. Nigh on four years ago though, I would've told you that all

     I ever have are my own two feet and the wonderfully clean and warm Whatcom County Bus System.

     I'd still prefer the latter, to be quite honest. Having a car sucks, allt his gas costs money. BUT, where I

     live (Lynden) I need a car. Hopefully that'll change in about a month or so .In fact, today (as soon as this

     interview is done) I'll be calling around the temp services to see if  THEY can get me a job. Anubis Unit

     is awesome, and my blogging is incredibly fun...but they don't pay the bills, y'see.  So anyway, as to what

     I want to drive? Y'know, I"m not a big car person. For instance, let's say Anubis Unit DOES sell good

     and hard. We come into a grip of money. First thing I'd do is just buy a nice house and move my parents

     into it. Pay off debts (mine, first, naturally). Then probably just get a dependably nice car with good gas

     mileage. If the SECOND album sells good or we make a killing off of tours, THEN I'll get a Bentley. I'll

     probably sell it after a few videos with it, but otherwise...::laughs::I don't need Bentleys, or Porsche's, or

     Ferrari's. That kinda thing can dwarf who and what you are, or misrepresent you. I define my things, not

    vice versa.

S- I've been reading a lot on changing the public school system. What ideas would you implement to

     help the revolution?

B- First and foremost, I have quite a few ideas. Y'know, I went to high school during 1994-1998, and

     the first two years of my schooling was perfect.The teachers and principal was close with the

     parents, and knew which trouble students came from which troubled households. LOLOLOL. Anyway,

     the second half is indicative of the true problem that now hounds us. It's not JUST the "No Child Left

     Behind Act," though that DEFINITELY feeds into it and I'll go into THAT later.But there's this distance

     now, between the principal and teachers and the parents. All three of these factor into what SHOULD

     be a proper learning environment.But today the teachers are hampered by the No Child Left Behind Act,

     and idiot parents who believe their child is a special fucking snowflake with self-diagnosed autism. The

     Principal is hampered by politicians constantly yanking more and more money from the education sector.

     And parents are just getting fucking stupid, preferring to allow EVERYONE ELSE but themselves to

     raise their children.Hell, someone recently spoke on the radio about this very subject, y'know? That "Oh,

     there's plenty of money in the education sector, it's just they need to allocate it better!" The problem is

     that Education is the FIRST thing that gets cut for whatever pork barrel project some backass politican

     wants funded!!!! It's happening EVERY SINGLE YEAR, educational budgets decreasing while the need

     for new textbooks rises....yet there's ALWAYS funding for new metal detectors!!!!!Hell, I was still in

     high school when I found out my middle school (which my sister was attending at the time) suddenly got

     fences and metal detectors. Fences! And metal detectors!!!! Yet they were still using books from five or

     seven years back!!!!!Now, the No Child Left Behind Act. Oh. Oh god. Oh god, that piece of horf.

S- Pretty soon, it will be very hard to distinguish a school from a prison from the outside.

B- SERIOUS! Now, I'm about to get my real hate on. Seriously, get ready for professional grade

     haterade right heah.

S- 's ok, cofee and munchies are on standby.

B- The No Child Left Behind Act has done more to seriously destroy the very STANDARD of public

     school than any rush of psychologists helping teenagers to remember how mommy and daddy touched

     them and gave them to a Satanic cult, even though they tested physically to still be a virgin. Seriously.

     Holding BACK intelligent children? This is a fucking good idea? It's proof that either there IS a sinister

     conspiracy behind such a move, or that the populace really are composed of the dumbest and most dull.

     First and foremost, you cannot apply a generic, general blanket ideal to every child. That's the job of the

     teacher, to figure out how to best teach each child individually as well as in a group. NOT the politicians,

     who couldn't care less. Not every child LEARNS at the same rate! This is common fucking sense here,

     y'know? All you're doing is putting pressure on children who do NOT learn as well as others to try and

     keep up, while at the same time holding back the entire classroom so the slower ones can somehow

     magically catch up. This. Does. Not. Work.We need to get RID of the Every Child Derped Act

     and once again teach at both the individual and group levels, to encourage them to study on their

     own, to take up scholastic as well as physical aspirations. We need to VERY BADLY once again give

     smarter students the chance to excel and get ahead, y'knowwhatImean? Y'know, the Europeans,

     Sweden, or one of those Svergen-languaged countries....lolsvergen. Anyway, they have a pretty

     interesting system that could probably be implemented easily here in 'Murrica. Give the teenager a chance

     to enter into the job market early through apprenticeships while also being in high school. It allows them

     to figure out what it is they ARE good at while preparing for the real fucking world. Rather than High


     degree from any college meant something. Now it just means you were able to copypasta the cliff notes

     best and were able to find funding. IT's have the destruction of the public sector of education,

     but at the same time the corporate machinations of the private sector of education. We're fucked both

     times sideways and left with nothing but regrets and student loans that can't be paid back. AND WHO

     BENEFITS FROM ALL THIS?! Despite what they say, Frannie Mae and Freddy Mac. There IS

     money to be found in people who default on their loans and must now pay out the ass for the rest of their

     lives...which they can't even afford THAT at times. It's a freakin' blight, and to be honest I haven't a clue

     how to handle the college issue. Go Tyler Durden on 'em? Blow up whatever computer banks holds the

     records? Government pardon? The high school issue is damn near easy to implement, we just need

     faculty with balls nationwide again, and parents willing to actually be PARENTS to their offspring.

S- We handle the college situation with an across the board's getting there. The train is still at

     the station, loading up all like-minded passengers.

B- lololol I can only hope. Because the way things are going down, we're going to go headfirst into either a

     revolution or the breakdown of civilization in 'Murrica. Stagnation can only last so long before mosquito

     larvae cause ripples, y'knowwhatI'msayin'? The Bigs have done a good job of fucking things up,

     good and proper. But this kind of cycle can only last for so long. And yes, they DO figure into the school

     question, y'knowwhatImean? Old Media, for instance, who tells our kids buy buy buy and parents that

     they don't love them if they don't have the newest fucking IPOD. Old Media, who is even now trying to

     strangle us from communicating with one another only to find out that we don't NEED them, nor the Bigs.
     By 'Bigs', I do mean the Big Companies, by the way.Not even talkin' conspiracy here, yo. Straight


S- Yeah, this is far too close to the 'reality' we see to be conspiracy. Those are usually well hidden.

B- Plus if a man has his hand in my pocket, I'm not going to rationalize that he's trying to scratch an itch of

mine. I'm going to punch him dead in the throat and break his arm.

S- You see your favorite actress of all time at the subway station. She says that she'll marry you if you give

     her the best thirty second kiss of her life. Problem is that an old lady has pushed her walker onto the

     tracks and is going to get hit by the train within that time. What do you do?

B- Save the old lady. I'm not sorry, nor will I apologize. I don't give a fuck if it's Lady Godiva herfuckingself,

     if she won't give me an extension for saving someone, then fuck it. I KNOW my kiss is up to her

     standard, but apparently she cannot live up to mine. Also, you are the devil for making me think that

     was going to be easy, you ass. >XD

S- The actress still marries you because that's her mother and she was suffering from a rare condition of

     paralysis that can only be staved off by a long liplock,(I call it 'Sleeping Beauty Syndrome).

B- OKAY I like you again! So, wait...I get to kiss both the mother and the actress? Well shit son, time to

     make me another mommy-daughter sammich! Y'know, funny story - I always check out the

     parents of someone I'm in love with. MAINLY because it shows how they themselves will

     age, y'know? Now I'm aging like fine wine - the older I get, the better I look.

<السراحنه joined group chat> Oh, another poop-in!

S- If there were one fictional species that you could have exist, what is it and why?

B- Oh. My. Hmmmm. I could so troll and piss people off with this one.

<يوسف السراحنه left group chat.>

B- And there he leaves. A species, huh? LOL poop-ins. I'd...hafta say....Y'know, most people who know

     me would expect Dragons or those little wyvern things from the Pern novels. But y'know, there's this race

     of intelligent giant cats that can turn invisible.I forget if it's from the Telzey Amber-something series or

     Trigger series....but there's a series of science fiction novels written by this guy that's pretty fantastic, and

     these giant cats can not only turn invisible and are higher-than-human intellects, but they're also telepathic.

     So yeah, I'd go for that. Mainly 'cuz I can't have cats in this tiny-assed cabin. :/And I was petting a cat

     yesterday. So yeah. Those. Admittedly, those cute drachenlings are cute as hell, and dragons can range

     from badassed and helpful like How To Train Yer Dragon or Joust, to simply Skyrim fuck yer shit up


S- ramy ramy has the longest poop-in so far. Maybe we'll get another challenger.

B- NOOOOOPE.JPG lololol LOL~! I think it's 'cuz we look so official in here, chatting like this.

S- We are offical. No more pro can be obtained.

B- It's almost like I'm a real celebrity! Except I'm not wearing any panties. Or underwear. And I wear


S- Those that go commando suffer from swinging satchel syndrome, I always say.

B- Naw. I wash very good. Plus I stuff to the left.

S- Haha. Do you have any superstitions?

B- Both yes and no. Part of it is it's more like I'm superstitious in peripheral-ly.  I"m superstitious, but not

     upfront about it. Like, I'll go out of my way to not walk under a ladder or open  up an umbrella indoors,

     but if it happens I"m just 'meh' about it. I'm freaked out by mirrors for other, darker, cultish reasons than

     simply bad luck for seven years. And if I cross a black cat's path, I give IT seven years of bad luck. Poor

     dears. And I've never thrown salt over my shoulder. But I do say "Bless you" if someone sneezes, even if

     I don't know 'em.So yeah...its like that with me and superstitions.

S- What drives you to write? And where do you get your inspiration from?

B- I still say I get it from my muse, but I literally just write. Almost from the void, as if mindless, the words

     just there waiting to be found. I have a very lyrical style of writing when it comes to my poems, and some

     become vocalized poetry while others become full-fledged songs. Events inspire me. Little things inspire

     me. Big things inspire me. Sensation inspires me. Everything inspires me. And sometimes it's when my

     emotions are at their most intense that I'm able to write. I always seem to write best when I'm slightly

     stressed, but too much or too little and it won't form properly. But if I'm working, I always come up with

     my best songs and such, sometimes while AT work~! ::laughs::The best way to describe my writing is  

     hmmm. I'm the conductor of a train, and the writing is the train itself. The coal is the various factors and

     inspiration that gives me the words I need, but I still have to shovel it in.

S- Great analogy there, Bastard!

B- LOL I usually suck at analogies.BUT, yeah...that's that, methinks. ^^ muse is still a whirling bitch

     stuck on moody though.

S- Do you think that everyone in existence has a purpose? If so, why do some seem so lame?

B- I believe everyone HAS a purpose in life, whether it be one that was given tot hem or one that they

     must make for their own. But everyone is a cog in this machine of life, and even the smallest of cogs have

     a purpose.BUT...and here's the's all about perception.To you, me, and perhaps everyone else

     that guy's purpose might be lame, but to him it's the most important thing in the world...still kinda makes it

     lame, but at least he's happy and I can't fault him for that. ::laughs::No, I take that back. It IS still lame,

     but at least it makes him happy.

S- What was your favorite age to be?

B- Tomorrow. While I do have memories of my halcyon days of youth, especially circa 1994 or so when

     the Internet 1.0 came to true prominence, I got my own room (the living room, with a pull-out bed and all

     the cable and video games I could eat and life wasn't that bad. And there are times in my life that I'd

     certainly wouldn't mind enjoying again. I'd rather, always and ever, rather desire and hunger for

     tomorrow.Someday I'll have nothing left to do but to look back, but for now all I can do is look forward,

     y'know? So yeah. That's the age I want more than anything. Tomorrow, for as long as I can stand it and

     desire it.

S- The future is a fickle lover. Always just out of  reach.

B- Indeed, but when she becomes Today she's especially giving, and always delicious to tap.

S- I'd tap the future twice, once for tomorrow, and once just for today.

B- ::laughs::

S- My ultimate goal is to do interviews with bands from around the country in an rv/production studio.  

     Do you have any ultimate goals?

B- My ultimate goal is to achieve my goals. Having more than one goal, I'd be glad to just be able to achieve

     them and be successful at them. Success as dictated by my own august self, naturally. But I have scripts

     to write, stories to finish, a whole multiverse to package as a game somehow, or a series, or multiple

     mediums.I have songs to finish and with the help of my band, create.I have poems to write and package

     and somehow sell in a book, y'know? And then there's my physical goals, to once again be able to walk

     down the street and know that I can handle any situation, whether it be that delightful surprise kiss or a

     supremely lethal five-on-one. My father trained me in a certain manner after one of his old partners got

     kidnapped from his own home and wound up in a gangbanger caged deathmatch. So he took steps to

     ensure that I could survive a fifteen-minute fight, five-on-one.Nowadays I could barely last five minutes

     against a single man, let alone five. ::laughs::But I'm gettin' there, slowly but surely.

S- Now for the final question. You get to switch roles and ask me something.

B- If you, then could you, and would you? But SHOULD you? Believe it or not...that's kind of a personal

     shout-out to one of the first love songs I wrote. ::chuckles::Supposed to be lots of keyboards and dreamy


S- I can't, so I won't, but I will say that I did, just to see the look on all of their faces.

B- LOLOOLOLOL. Grimdark and edgy. All the cool kids are doing it!

OKAY THEN! I think that's it for The Interview 2:

Electric Boogaloo.

Please visit That Bastard From Bellingham here.


  1. Ok, wow lol.... very neat but I didn't understand all of it! I read it in one sitting - maybe I should have gone in piece by piece. Maybe I'm just not used to conversational young person American English? But whatever, I did enjoy it - even the moments when I was confused... it sort of added to the charm. Very entertaining for sure! Thanks :)

    1. Yes, it is quite tough to understand at times. There are made-up words, some serious slang, and a few lines of gibberish. I'm very glad you made it through the whole thing, although you couldn't understand some of it. Thanks, Bozo.

    2. Sure thing - it was fun lol... I like wacky.

  2. I think that's the first post I've seen go past the blogroll...that was almost insane.

    1. Maybe I need a longer blogroll, lol. And I do everything at the edge of insanity, almost there, but not quite.

  3. That was well done and fecking long but there were gems about bacon, well done on an epic (in this case literally) interview and post.....

    1. Very fecking long, lol. Bacon always makes stuff better. Thanks for the lauds, Fran.

  4. Holy Interview!!!!! I feel like this person and I are bffs now. hahahaha

    1. He'd definitely be a great one to have. You'd never get bored, and you'd have someone like Viking who would protect you.

  5. such a fun interview!

    1. It was very fun to conduct it. I'm glad you had fun reading it, although my text formatting was very off.

  6. That's quite a conversation, awesome stuff! :D

    1. True, a conversation to end all conversations, hehehe.

  7. Replies
    1. I wish I got this. I may catch the gist once I'm far removed from technology and laugh. Dedications will go out to you in front of the wild beasts, if I do.

  8. I.

    ALL SEVEN PENIS TENTACLES ARE AT FULL SALUTE AT THIS! Lol at the part I KNOW you kept in because we talked about it (lame, lololol), but man...this is freakin' awesome!

    Funny story follow-up: I just got off a 12-hour shift. That DAY I got a job, but it was an emergency shift at graveyard with no preparation or sleep pattern-changing. Still, you get the point...

    I wanna keep you in my pocket as a lucky charm, Shockbro. >8D

  9. Funny you say that last bit, because I feel like a good luck charm for any team, person, or entity that I support or stand behind. Good stuff usually happens to those around me.

    Gratz on the job man! Sorry that it's screwy on your sleep patterns, but at least you'll earn a few cheese wedges.

    And about the part I kept, I only shared what wasn't deeply personal to me. As an interviewee of mine, I have full trust in not disclosing said omissions. That info was for you only, kind of a payment for doing this.

    And I am bitter at blogger for making me think that I had formatted the text the correct way. I may spend an hour or two on it when I get back around a pc later this week.

    1. Y'know, the same damn thing happened with me and the "A Boot Shaped Poem Again"...

      Well. It's STILL an awesome interview, and I'm gonna slap you with another featured link. Again.

      That may be a first, twice for once person. :3

      In all seriousness, I thank you for the opportunity of this interview! That was fun as hell, feels like we got to know each other a bit better...hell, a helluvalot better.

      Plus while I may be a natural for radio, you're a freakin' monster of a interviewer~!

  10. This would've been so much easier to read had it not decided to cut off sentences and turned it into paragraphs, but it's still a funny read. A little slow sometimes, but funny overall. I think I like this guy.

    1. HUH. Y'know, our blogospheres overlap one another, whenever I got o comment I see you've already done so or will do so afterwards...

      I might check out your blog. I normally do for people who view the same blogs I do. ^^

      No promises though~! At least not until tomorrow...busy busy busy.

  11. sweet jesus tldr. This is why most people don't read playboy for the articles!

  12. That puts any interview I've ever done to the stamina involved!! Both a great interviewer and interviewee

    1. MAH NUGGA!

      Keep in mind, this is the SECOND interview. And yes, we're both known for our inhuman stamina.

      Hell I'm half-monster, I don't know what his excuse is. :3

  13. How do you... I mean seriously, I can't even talk to someone I know for more than like 5 minutes. Am I really that antisocial? I can't imagine an interview this long

  14. LOL you guys just hop scotched around everywhere, one long ass interview but very well done. I bet he's glad he doesn't have herpes the randomness of it.

  15. wow. Amazing! You can remember everything! I'd probably excuse myself 30mins after. haha!

  16. I can only imagine how long it took for you to edit that entire thing. :P

  17. First few pages- cult meeting of gastric athletes.
    Second few pages- nerds, rejected by bouncer outside the bar
    Third few pages- wheelchair oldies debate
    Rest - famous show about nothing - Seinfield reenactment.
    I promised bastard to tune in only if there are swear words,not disappointed. Next time shorter posts maybe?

  18. Hey, boys!

    I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to read this, but this entire week has been a little bitch! Also, I haven't slept in 5 days, so I'm a rather fried! (fucking full moon!) I thought tonight is Friday night, so fuck it, I'm gonna inhale this puppy... along with a six of Eastern European beer! Paying tribute to my ancestors and all, don't you know! (Oh, any excuse to get ratfaced!)

    I LOVE this interview! You guys are a brilliant duo! Chaos and Mayhem, a double act! I couldn't stop giggling! Very interesting topics of discussion. Can't wait for the next one!

    For now, I'm still far too fucking sober, so I'm going to make a couple of boilermakers, rack a hookah and try to NOT set myself on fire (again!) Much love to you both. :) ♥

    1. Yes, mayhem fits you about as well as Chaos does for me.

  19. Whoa! This has got to be the longest post I've seen on your blog. I enjoyed the content of the interview but all the unnecessary line breaks kinda irked me because it made the article kinda hard too read. What up with that?