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Sunday, September 29, 2013

Distractions and Fear of Failure


 I'm so glad that I am able to be posting again. After losing my oh-so-sweet laptop to some thieves, I took a while to obtain this new temporary machine. It's really nothing(literally doesn't have a hard drive or a working battery), but it will have to get the job done for now.

 School has been very gracious to me. Since I'm such a late bloomer, it fits that I'm an elder freshman with little life experience to draw from. Sure, I've worked for more than two fortune 500 companies, had my fair share of apartments and duplexes, and a few too many scrapes with death, but in terms of the biggies( marriage and kids), I'm inexperienced.

 This works for me in school. I'm able to group myself with almost any of the other students and feel comfortable, save for the occasional distractions and fears.

 To elaborate, I've switched seats in one class so I could focus more on my work. I was sitting close to some younger students who seemed to talk a lot more than I was used to. So I moved around close to someone that was quieter. There was a hitch there, because in doing so I inadvertantly caused myself another distraction.

 Ever since grade school, I have been in love with infatuation. I could never seem to get over the crush, or even through the stages that brought normalcy to a relationship. Being a homeless starving artist, I didn't have much opportunity to surround myself with any chances to feed that addiction of adoration, but now I seem to get pulses of oxytocin when I crush on my favorite female. I guess I'll have to either move again or let my feelings be known. I doubt I'll do the latter because of my immense fear of failure.

 "Fear of failure is the beginning of failure itself", I told myself in a written quote the other day. It seems that once I embrace the anxious hesitation that accompanies thoughts of failing, everything falls into place to make that happen. It occoured during a crucial assignment in class. I had a breakdown of sorts in front of the teacher and my peers. As embarassing as that may seem, it would only be eclipsed by quitting(something I am not going to do). So, tomorrow I will be behind in my works and sitting on an island to myself. The trick will be to forget all that happenned and work happily and eagerly.

 That's it for now. I'd like to keep this blog and my other cobweb-filled site updated as much as possible(I don't know how any full-time students do it), so I'll see you all next time.

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Why isn't it 2020 already?

 I know, I know, I'm impatient. But only for those things that seem to me that we're all missing out on right now. Like:

 Self Driving Google cars- These badboys on the street will cause all of the ne'er do-wells and actual law breakers currently on the asphalt to curse the powers that be,(kinda like how most people in cars look at me when I'm walking in the hundred degree heat).

 Floating cameras to catch the criminals- No more thinking "Why isn't there a policeman around when you need them?" because when something goes down, a drone will see it and have ol' Johnny Law there so fast it'll seem as if it were a planned ambush.

 Oprah world- Right now we call it Mars, but I'm sure in seven years that Oprah will be so upset about not receiving and Oscar that she will decide to create a new civilization on the red-planet.

 Japanese Olympics- Oh the bells and whistles! I am just in techno-heaven when I dream up how cool it's going to be when I drive my google car across the pacific ocean to attend the 2020 olympics. What are they going to do to change my life forever? Only time will tell.

 So, in short, I can wait seven years. I just don't want to.