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Wednesday, April 20, 2016



I'm trapped. I have no weapons and no way out. They're right on the other side of this wall, looking for me. They've got guns, and a confidence that smells the opposite of fear.


Why couldn't I have just gone to the movies with Brent to see Spy Guy 5? But I just had to
call Jessica to get a piece before high-tailing it to Canada. She required a high I couldn't get her, so she had me escort her to her friend Gino's. Fine, except Gino had me check my weapons at the door, plus he was my nemesis Elias' confidant.


Before I knew it, Jessica just left without saying goodbye. Gino's goons were all about getting at me, but I ran and shut myself in Gino's stinky bathroom.


Oh god! Why doesn't this cromagnon flush his leavings? Now that I looked at it, I can smell it. It's the only thing I smell now. I'm going to puke.


I have no way of getting out of this if I'm hurling. I'll use the trick Spy Guy uses in the third movie where he used cotton balls in his nostrils to not smell the knockout gas.


They're almost through the door, what am I supposed to do? I've played Spy Guy the video game so much that I shouldn't be lacking a weapon. But all I do to react to this life threatening moment is to make my hands into a pretend gun and think positive thoughts like "maybe these guys will drop their guns, slap five, turn around and take Gino to the movies"


They're through the door. I pop off two rounds with my hand gun, shooting them both with the power of my positive thoughts

They immediately release their weapons, smile at each other, high five, then turn and go about grabbing Gino up from the couch while talking excitedly about the newest Hello Doggie flick.

I look at my hands in disbelief as I hear distanced cussing as the thugs do my bidding.