Friday, August 12, 2011
The Most Epic Dream I've Ever Remembered
Sometimes I don't remember my dreams at all. Usually, it's those days that someone else wakes me up with something to do or the alarm rouses me. If I don't lie there and go through my brain DVR, I'll lose it. So I bet I've had better dreams than the one I'm writing, but I've forgotten them. That said, I now give you:
Attack of the Hygiene Nanites
I'm standing against the wall in my sister's room. Everyone who's usually there is present. She's always striving to be the center of attention, and today it's no different. I see her with a silver tray in her lap. On the tray is a bag, containing white powder and a little booklet.
"Sis, are you doing drugs?" I ask incredulously. I know she's not into that type of stuff, but she is very overweight and hasn't had any diets that work for her. Maybe she went to the drug that makes people skinny. I'm appalled to see this in her lap.
"No. You haven't heard?" she asks me with a little laugh. She hands me the booklet when I tell her that I haven't 'heard' anything.
Upon first inspection, the booklet seems to be a how-to instruction containing various information and pictures of what I can only discern as little robot-looking ticks.
She raises the baggie over her head and starts explaining. "Hygiene nanites are tiny robotic cleaners that you disperse over your head.", she states as she upends the bag of nanites, letting them fall to her blonde hair.
"What kind of 'cleaning' do they do?" I ask while I watch the white powder seem to dissapear from her head.
"They process every dead skin cell from your body, from your scalp to the callouses on your feet." She points to her now smooth heel that was just days ago the most rugged part of anyone's foot that I had ever seen. "They even clean your teeth and deodorize all of your stinky bits.", she tells me while I'm standing there dropjawed.
"But you take two showers a day! You are the cleanest person that I know, you don't need those nanites.", I say while putting my hands up in the air pointing at all of the dirtier individuals in the room.
Trying to justify her purchase, she tells me, "Yes, but now I don't have to take those showers. I save time and money with these technological marvels.".
She puts the bag down onto the tray as I just shake my head and sigh, wondering what this world is coming to.
I'm now in a bar, watching the news on the corner television. I'm seeing what seems to be a zombie. The newscaster is explaining that the cause of the zombie infestation is due to the hygiene nanites battling the body's own micro-organisms.
"It seems to defend against the attacks from mites and creatures native to all humans, the little robots started replicating at such a rate that they cover the entire body in what looks to be decaying flesh.", the newscaster explained as the footage went into a zoomed view of a zombie, showing that what looked like gray skin falling off was just defeated robots falling from the battlefield.
I'm now in a command center. The only other person in this huge room of controls and monitors is a very attractive female that I believe is my new significant other. She's asking me how I plan to rid the planet of the new zombie horde.
"I've got to upload some spoiled lubricant to the satellite that feeds these creatures. Although they get their power from the passive voltage native to the human body, they've got to be properly lubed", I point out to her while pushing many buttons on this vast array of controls in front of me. After various controls have been messed with I look to the monitor area and see that the lube has been uploaded to the satellite.
Now in a field, I'm surrounded by what seems to be an army of shambling zombies, shuffling their way to my untouched flesh. Within feet of them reaching me, I see all of the dead 'skin' sloughs off of them in layers, leaving them looking like the clean humans that they used to be. The zombie closest to me is my sister. I hug her in an embrace that spreads joy throughout the field.
That's the most epic dream I've ever had. It almost had it all. I wasn't too keen on jumping around settings and timepoints, but I did not have control of this night feature. I liked this dream so much that I submitted it to my local metaphysics office to interpret. I wasn't as pleased with the interpretation as the interpreter was with my dream. He explained that it almost echoed the "Cowboy Bebop" movie, which I had never seen, and gave general outlines how the dream could parallel with my life.
I've since become very adept at dream interpretation. I'm the best at my own dreams, okay at friend's dreams, and just so-so with stranger's dreams. This dream sent me on a real world chase to figure out what they mean and why we have such a variance in the complexity of dreams.
So, do you have any epic dreams? If you would like a general interpretation, let me know and I'll see what I can do in my free time.