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Wednesday, April 20, 2016

ThoughtGuns

                            Wham!

I'm trapped. I have no weapons and no way out. They're right on the other side of this wall, looking for me. They've got guns, and a confidence that smells the opposite of fear.

                            Slam!

Why couldn't I have just gone to the movies with Brent to see Spy Guy 5? But I just had to
call Jessica to get a piece before high-tailing it to Canada. She required a high I couldn't get her, so she had me escort her to her friend Gino's. Fine, except Gino had me check my weapons at the door, plus he was my nemesis Elias' confidant.

                           Smash!

Before I knew it, Jessica just left without saying goodbye. Gino's goons were all about getting at me, but I ran and shut myself in Gino's stinky bathroom.

                           Crunch!

Oh god! Why doesn't this cromagnon flush his leavings? Now that I looked at it, I can smell it. It's the only thing I smell now. I'm going to puke.

                             Pop!

I have no way of getting out of this if I'm hurling. I'll use the trick Spy Guy uses in the third movie where he used cotton balls in his nostrils to not smell the knockout gas.

                            Crack!

They're almost through the door, what am I supposed to do? I've played Spy Guy the video game so much that I shouldn't be lacking a weapon. But all I do to react to this life threatening moment is to make my hands into a pretend gun and think positive thoughts like "maybe these guys will drop their guns, slap five, turn around and take Gino to the movies"

                           Slam!

They're through the door. I pop off two rounds with my hand gun, shooting them both with the power of my positive thoughts

They immediately release their weapons, smile at each other, high five, then turn and go about grabbing Gino up from the couch while talking excitedly about the newest Hello Doggie flick.

I look at my hands in disbelief as I hear distanced cussing as the thugs do my bidding.

2 comments:

  1. lol nothing like the power of positive thought getting you out of a jam.

    ReplyDelete
  2. If I'm the sower, we plant the Seed; if I'm an artist, we RITE the symphonies heard Upstairs ☆IF☆ you accept His lead withe orchestra...

    Wanna find-out the fax, Jak, in a wurld fulla the 'power of cowards'? Wanna wiseabove to help a 'Plethora Of Wurdz' [POW!] which are look'n for a new home in thy novelty??

    Q: But [gulp] can anyone tell me the difference between K2 plus IQ? A: Nthn. In Heaven, we gitt'm both for eternity HeeHee Need a few more thots, ideers, wild wurdz (whoa, Nelly! easy, girl) or ironclad iconoclasms?

    VERBUM SAT SAPIENTI: As an ex-writer of the sassy, savvy, schizophenia we all go thro in this lifelong demise, I wanna help U.S. git past the ping-pong-politics, the whorizontal more!ass! we're in (Latin: words to wise).

    "This finite existence is only a test, son," God Almighty told me in my coma. "Far beyond thy earthly tempest is where you'll find tangible, corpulent eloquence". Lemme tella youse without d'New Joisey accent...

    I actually saw Seventh-Heaven when we died: you couldn't GET! any moe curly, party-hardy-endorphins, extravagantly-surplus-lush Upstairs (in [the] end without end -Saint Augustine) when my o-so-beautifull, brilliant, bombastic girly passed-away due to those wry, sardonic satires.

    "Those who are wise will shine as brightly as the expanse of the Heavens, and those who have instructed many in uprightousness as bright as stars for all eternity" -Daniel 12:3, NJB

    Here's also what the prolific, exquisite GODy sed: 'the more you shall honor Me, the more I shall bless you' -the Infant Jesus of Prague.

    Go gitt'm, girl. You're incredible. See you Upstairs. I won't be joining'm in the nasty Abyss where Isis prowls
    thesuperseedoftime.blogspot.com
    infowars.com
    -YOUTHwitheTRUTH
    -------------------------------
    PS Need summore unique, uncivilized, useless names? Lemme gonna gitcha started, brudda:

    Oak Woods, Franky Sparks, Athena Noble, Autumn Rose, Faith Bishop, Dolly Martin, Willow Rhodes, Cocoa Major, Roman Stone, Bullwark Burnhart, Magnus Wilde, Kardiak Arrest, Will Wright, Goldy Silvers, Penelope Summers, Sophie Sharp, Violet Snow, Lizzy Roach, BoxxaRoxx, Aunty Dotey, Romero Stark, Zacharia Neptoo, Mercurio Morrissey, Fritz & Felix Franz, Victor Payne, Isabella Silverstein, Mercedes Kennedy, Redding Rust, Phoenix Martini, Ivy Squire, Sauer Wolfe, Yankee Cooky, -blessed b9...

    God blessa youse
    (trust-N-Jesus)
    -Fr. Sarducci, ol SNL

    ReplyDelete