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Thursday, June 13, 2013

Chopsticks to the Musca Domestica!

The year, 1984. The movie, Karate Kid.

 My older brother and I went to the theater excited about getting to see it on the day it came out. I can't remember who enjoyed it more, but we were both talking about nothing but the movie for hours after getting picked up and taken home.

 Mother was tired of hearing about all of the kicking and punching, and selected other tidbits of the movie we related to expound upon. One of these was the famous chopsticks scene. "What were the chopsticks used for?" She asked.

 "For eating mom, don't you know asian culture?", I heard my brother sass as I began a plan to explain the scene in the movie and hopefully recreate it.

 "The main character caught a fly with chopsticks, Mom. Can we call for some Chinese cuisine so we can try ourselves?" I asked because I knew she'd give in.

 "The latter seems possible, but the former seems perfectly like the fiction of movies", she always stated things in this way. I loved it.

 One hour and three dirty plates later my brother and I put down our silverware and took the paper off of our simple wooden chopsticks.

 Facing my brother as a competitor has always been bad for me before this point. I was very used to the designation of second place to his overachieving prowess in whatever he wished to compete with me in. I was of a mood to stop that trend that day.

 "On three." He said. I barely had a grip on my set before he quickly went from one to three in half a second. His tricks wouldn't psych me out this time. Time seemed to slow to a crawl by the time I assessed the situation.

 There were three flies flying circuits around the dinner table, eagerly awaiting the moment we cease paying attention to the food. Little did they know that they became more worthy of attention than those random clumps of rice and chicken on the edges of the plates.

 My brother had snapped five times with no result by the time I found my target. He was a fatter fly than the
other two. He seemed to be flying a bit slower than his sisters as well. I imagined that he had found slme broccoli beef that had found it's way to the floor somehow at the beginning of the meal and was now in his after-dinner flight of fancy.

 I lifted my arm as a conductor of a great symphony, but with just one note. The initial strike at the housefly had proved successfull. I snatched him by all six legs. While his wings were buzzing in complaint to my snare,  my eyes were transfixed beyond his multi-faceted eyes to my brother's priceless face. The face of a champion who gets his first loss by a newcomer.

 To emphasize my win, I moved the fly right up to my brother's line of sight. His brow furrowed and he seemed to grunt as he took his sticks in both hands and broke them before tossing them on the table and leaving in a huff.

 So, if anyone tells you that you cannot do something just because it's in a piece of fiction, don't just prove them wrong, beat the best and leave no room for speculation. Get that fly in the first try, then put it in their eye!

14 comments:

  1. LOL ending in a rhyme, such a fun time. I figured it could be done, but never tried. Bravo to you for proving it.

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    1. I thought you might enjoy the way I ended that one. Thanks for believing and commenting, Pat.

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  2. That was pretty awesome. I can't really use chopsticks properly at all. I don't think I would be able to use them to catch a fly. So you are a monumental badass.

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    1. I can truly say that you are the first to ever call me monumental, most people leave the 'monu' out. I am always warmed by the presence of your words on my posts, Mark. Thank you.

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  3. They catch flies with chopsticks!!?? And here I just thought it was cat in the Moo Goo Gai Pan.

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    1. I am all for publishing the nutrition facts and ingredient lists for all items in a restaurant, but I think they would come up with creative workarounds when it comes to the utensils. Thanks for opening my eyes to that, Al.

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  4. "Get that fly in the first try, then put it in their eye" Oh boy I'm amused. That's a cool story, but I think I'm way more amused than I should be right now.

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    1. I am glad that this post was of the amusing sort, because I'd feel a little more than a bit guilty If I had written something sad and sent you into a sobfest. Thanks, D4.

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  5. That's awesome. I absolutely loved this story, if only because I could never, ever do that. I am really good at whipping flies out of midair by flicking them with a towel, though.

    Also, you're right, I CAN do anything I've seen in fiction. I just saw the new Superman movie, so if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go jump off my roof and fly to another planet.

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    1. I seriously thought there was a spoiler in there, but I may never get to watch it.

      If you do try to fly, make sure you're not standing on your cape before takeoff.I made that mistake and the only thing to fly off the roof was the entire back of my costume. You might be named 'glutes of steel like I was. Thanks for stopping in and commenting.

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  6. As an Asian I doubt my chopstick skills are even that good, even at this day. :P

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    1. To be completely honest, I'm no good at using them to shovel sustenance into my pie-hole. You'll most likely beat me every time in a timed contest with a meal devoured with just the sticks, DWei. Thanks for boosting my confidence a little further with your comment.

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  7. Replies
    1. A movie inspired me to recreate a scene in reality, which in turn helped inspire you when I chose to write it down and share it with you. Who says that dreams, however small, don't come true? I appreciate the comment, Ghadeer.

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