D'update

I've been watching TV shows again. 

 I'm enthralled with comedies. These distractions of laughter are sometimes what I think I need at the time. They feel good.

 On the scholastic front, my nose is still inside the book. Not too far in to where I can't focus on the words, though. There's a danger in that.

 I'm picking up projects, dropping others, and putting some on hold for now.

  The best thing about my newest project is that I can use the experience to help the homeless. Yay! Let's destigmatize this group!
  
  Another project I have utilizes my graphical prowress. I know I don't have many good examples here, but maybe I'll share some soon.
  
  Writing is now back in vogue. I have neglected my own creative spirit by only writing for sholastic reasons, but now other realms are opening to me. 
  
All this time, and I still defy life by being single. Not just a bachelor, but a loner. I have a social life, but not one that involves anything

akin to a relationship. Those don't come my way often, but I'm glad to say that I trust that they will continue.

 I'm writing a poem currently, here's the plot:

1.  Hungry Traveler walking down a path
2.   notices a beetle crossing ahead of him
3.   Traveler stops, so does beetle.
4.   Traveler entices the beetle to cross by drawing a line in the path with a stick.
5.   Beetle crosses the path and leads traveller to money.
6.   Traveler heads back the way he came.
7.   Traveler returns to beetle and lays before him a meal that costs all of the funds.
8.   Traveler walks away.

Here's a shiny desktop wallpaper I made recently:

The shape I see when I think of the world/universe

Life and Photography: Death of a Devoted Dame and a Dual Critique

 Hookay, I'm back and just in time for the end of spring( which feels more like late fall or early winter to me), and I've some news from life and such with some learning thrown in the bag.

 School is hool. I'm not what kind of word hool is, but if it's created sometime in the near or distant future, it will be exactly what school is to me right now.

 I received my first bad grades this semester. When I had come to terms with the subjective failures( two weeks before grades were posted), I thought of how I could improve. Going from Dean's list to D-list was something I can't afford to focus on. "Just pinpoint the mistakes and think of how to overcome them next time.", I told myself.

 This year has already been very rough. The woman that raised me passed away after v-day. It was all too quick. One day she's fine, the next in the hospital. After a week, she gives up the angel. I did not get to be at her bedside to see her last physical moments, but I was able to speak to her on the phone when she was refusing everybody's call but mine. That in itself was her way of saying that she felt I was special to her. I was still in denial of her mortality before, during, and after the short two-minute conversation. We spoke about the last game involving our favorite college team and how proud of them we were. Through her speech, there was a indication of finality. I didn't hear it then, but going back to the last words she ever said to me, I know that she believed in me and cared for me with all of her heart.

 "I love you". They sounded like a language that was more than English. It surpassed being an amalgamation of all languages interpreted into one and became the simplest human feeling. I was very blessed to not only know one of the most caring individuals on earth, but have her in my life for guidance, advice, and unconditional love. Hardly anybody gets to be lucky enough to have that kind of love.

 Since her passing I have had two would-be fatal experiences. Saved by either inexplicable or too explicable ways, I quickly attribute my physical safety to that angel that helped shape who I am. She always said I had a big heart, and it's time to show her that I can use it.

 I spoke with a new friend the other day and an idea came to me. He told  me of his friend who had a few serious health issues. The lady has leukemia, and sometimes has to wear a mask in public to keep from inhaling dust or particles that would attack her already weakened immune system. I knew that those patients had to seriously be aware of cuts and scrapes, but I had not factored in the air we breathe.

 There is a stigma to wearing any sort of medical device in public. Deep down people perceive weakness, sickness, and their own mortality when they see others around them wearing an apparatus in public. Due to this aversion of thinking about such things, those who are being helped to normalize their life through these devices are shunned and stigmatized by the society they wish to assimilate to.

 This is where my idea comes in. A designer respiration mask, worn by the afflicted in public would help shape a change in the perception of the wearers of the mask by the public. Instead of being stark-white with clinical styling, these filtering units would sport different art and graphics on them.

 Several different styles and categories come to my mind, animal faces, prints, and textures, are at the forefront. Next would be the famous robot mouths series featuring all the great binary pie-holes from television and movie history. The options go on and on.

 Now to the photographs. Since I got what I deem a bad grade in my photo class, I'm doing some off-season learning of my own. This is a comparison of two digital photographs that I took last fall. Both are from the same building and shoot. Both feature peeling paint as the main subject.

No.1

This photograph was taken at a shutter speed of 1/6th of a second with an f-stop of 5.5 and ISO set to 1600. Although the fore and background are blurry, the only in-focus area is shrouded by shadows as well as obfuscated by the sharp lines of the folded paint's edges. This could be due to my precarious position atop a chair to take the photo. If a tripod were used, there'd most likely be more mid-ground in focus. The overall composition seems better than average, however with the orientation as it is we are able to tell this was above a door frame, making it predictable. Usually peeling paint makes for great textures, but with the sections of paint here being so large, these pieces would not lend themselves to repetition easily. The lighting in this one creates good shadow play in the foreground and center, but the background is devoid of any the interesting organic curves. I describe the colors as mismatching. The pale blue and off-white seem to work well together, but mixed with the green and yellow makes the whole piece seem like an undone patchwork. This photo gets a C-.

No. 2

This photograph was taken at a shutter speed of 1/80th of a second with an f-stop of 5.6 and ISO set at 400. The first thing we notice in difference to the first photograph is the orientation. I did rotate this in my program before putting it here, but I took this with portrait orientation instead of landscape. This creates the illusion of a floor or base, instead of showcasing a wall. Floors>walls every time, plus how many times are you going to find peeling paint on floors? Not too many. The second thing we find here in contrast to the first image is that the area of focus is larger than the previous. This is probably due to my holding the camera flush against the wall before pressing the shutter. A steady shot equals less blur and more interest for sure. Even the peeling paint is curling into cones and cylinders which creates a great variety with that ever-needed element of repetition. The specular highlights from the unpeeled paint give this piece a feel of liquidity and newness. For the old to co-exist with the new is to capture a social reality in aging materials. Those peels that sport the highlights in the foreground assist the eye in moving around the photograph. This photo gets a B.

 Thanks for sticking around and reading, looking, and commenting. I'll be working on a collaboration this summer, so look forward to seeing some design work. 

 Have fun and stay on earth,

                                           Shockgrubz 

Deadlines and Life!

Seems I am doing everything I can do not to get my final projects finished. That includes the rare treat of writing you, so it's not as bad as it seems.

 I wrote a little bit on Newstuff before this one. I'm taking time out while letting glue and stuff dry to update this space.

 I found me a woman. She is very accomplished and loves her some me, so I feel a bit of stress over making sure that I don't end up seeming needy through my starving artistry phase. Although, she and I both came to an immediate agreement that this may be just for now or something else and that no one has possession of anyone else.

 The sense of freedom from jealousy has been delightful. I have yet to find someone on the same page with me in that department and with her, she's peachy keen.

 School has been going. That is one of the major reasons I don't update this blog much. It feels that much of my time has been ripped away from the computer, but now I'm able to come back and write/create it up for the summer.

 There are so many projects due and so many ways I can distract myself from doing them. Let's hope that this editing and such goes very well.

 Thanks for allowing my language to massage your retinas for a minute. Much obliged.

SS from a recent project in Blender. Fun Stuff!!

Limbo or Disconnectivity

 Hey!

 I've temporarily taken this blog out  of stasis to get a few things down about how this year is progressing. Yeah, an update post, which may or may not be regarded as a real post.

 The learning by myself has been going ok. I had downloaded some pretty cool tutorials, only some of which I could actually use. I made this pretty lighthouse scene with it.

Watch out for those pixelated rocks!

 I've also worked on a few products/inventions that I had in my head, but had never put into graphics. I'm only going to tease with this, since the subjects involved are very sensitive. I'm in the midst of coming up with:

 Atmospheric Cylindrical Return Toy- A boomerang that's not actually a boomerang.

 The PPP unit. This thing takes reaching out to touch someone to a different level. Many levels, ha!

 Trampogine- A power generation unit that takes the energy from footfalls and converts it to various other

 types of energy.

 On the living front, I feel as if I live in the Antarctic sometimes. The city here doesn't provide free wi-fi, and the state and country are on the same page with the lack of access, so I'm floundering most of the time to figure something out using old-world methods that just aren't good enough.

 My . occupation at the moment is one of bad houskeeper and so-so personal chef. I get room, board,  and revelries out of the bargain, but without some spending and saving cash, I despair to think what would happen if this were my permanent and last occupation. 

 I thought about doing a little political piece who's working title is "The Mexicanization of the U.S.". It would feature the reasons why I feel that the NLR(Non-Legal-Residents)s should not be given amnesty and allowed to become citizens of the U.S. without taking the legal and prescribed steps already laid out. I'm all for immigration, this country is a melting pot. But most of the ingredients added lately were legal, meaning they learned all they could about the process and took it upon themselves to learn about our ways and laws. Out of all of the reasons why they don't wish to take the test, some of the nlrs I've spoken to tell me it's because they do not wish to speak english, nor do they want to know the laws. That is a very scary thing to me. If I were wanting to become a citizen of any other land, I would do everything I could to learn the ways and tongue of the place. This 'language discrimination' does not only tie in with illegal immigrants, it also goes deep to the heart of our institutes of higher learning. 

 Okay, if I go any further, I'd have written that post, so I'll just leave that there as a tease. To clear up any assumptions of me being intolerant, I attest that I have friends of all creeds, colors, and religions. My enemies, however, only come in one flavor. Guess.

 So, I'm very glad to have been able to write this and put the picture here for you today. The more I stay away from posting, the closer I am to dying without saying all that I have to say. Let's hope that doesn't happen.