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Showing posts with label Death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Death. Show all posts

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Life and Photography: Death of a Devoted Dame and a Dual Critique

 Hookay, I'm back and just in time for the end of spring( which feels more like late fall or early winter to me), and I've some news from life and such with some learning thrown in the bag.

 School is hool. I'm not what kind of word hool is, but if it's created sometime in the near or distant future, it will be exactly what school is to me right now.

 I received my first bad grades this semester. When I had come to terms with the subjective failures( two weeks before grades were posted), I thought of how I could improve. Going from Dean's list to D-list was something I can't afford to focus on. "Just pinpoint the mistakes and think of how to overcome them next time.", I told myself.

 This year has already been very rough. The woman that raised me passed away after v-day. It was all too quick. One day she's fine, the next in the hospital. After a week, she gives up the angel. I did not get to be at her bedside to see her last physical moments, but I was able to speak to her on the phone when she was refusing everybody's call but mine. That in itself was her way of saying that she felt I was special to her. I was still in denial of her mortality before, during, and after the short two-minute conversation. We spoke about the last game involving our favorite college team and how proud of them we were. Through her speech, there was a indication of finality. I didn't hear it then, but going back to the last words she ever said to me, I know that she believed in me and cared for me with all of her heart.

 "I love you". They sounded like a language that was more than English. It surpassed being an amalgamation of all languages interpreted into one and became the simplest human feeling. I was very blessed to not only know one of the most caring individuals on earth, but have her in my life for guidance, advice, and unconditional love. Hardly anybody gets to be lucky enough to have that kind of love.

 Since her passing I have had two would-be fatal experiences. Saved by either inexplicable or too explicable ways, I quickly attribute my physical safety to that angel that helped shape who I am. She always said I had a big heart, and it's time to show her that I can use it.

 I spoke with a new friend the other day and an idea came to me. He told  me of his friend who had a few serious health issues. The lady has leukemia, and sometimes has to wear a mask in public to keep from inhaling dust or particles that would attack her already weakened immune system. I knew that those patients had to seriously be aware of cuts and scrapes, but I had not factored in the air we breathe.

 There is a stigma to wearing any sort of medical device in public. Deep down people perceive weakness, sickness, and their own mortality when they see others around them wearing an apparatus in public. Due to this aversion of thinking about such things, those who are being helped to normalize their life through these devices are shunned and stigmatized by the society they wish to assimilate to.

 This is where my idea comes in. A designer respiration mask, worn by the afflicted in public would help shape a change in the perception of the wearers of the mask by the public. Instead of being stark-white with clinical styling, these filtering units would sport different art and graphics on them.

 Several different styles and categories come to my mind, animal faces, prints, and textures, are at the forefront. Next would be the famous robot mouths series featuring all the great binary pie-holes from television and movie history. The options go on and on.

 Now to the photographs. Since I got what I deem a bad grade in my photo class, I'm doing some off-season learning of my own. This is a comparison of two digital photographs that I took last fall. Both are from the same building and shoot. Both feature peeling paint as the main subject.

No.1


This photograph was taken at a shutter speed of 1/6th of a second with an f-stop of 5.5 and ISO set to 1600. Although the fore and background are blurry, the only in-focus area is shrouded by shadows as well as obfuscated by the sharp lines of the folded paint's edges. This could be due to my precarious position atop a chair to take the photo. If a tripod were used, there'd most likely be more mid-ground in focus. The overall composition seems better than average, however with the orientation as it is we are able to tell this was above a door frame, making it predictable. Usually peeling paint makes for great textures, but with the sections of paint here being so large, these pieces would not lend themselves to repetition easily. The lighting in this one creates good shadow play in the foreground and center, but the background is devoid of any the interesting organic curves. I describe the colors as mismatching. The pale blue and off-white seem to work well together, but mixed with the green and yellow makes the whole piece seem like an undone patchwork. This photo gets a C-.

No. 2
This photograph was taken at a shutter speed of 1/80th of a second with an f-stop of 5.6 and ISO set at 400. The first thing we notice in difference to the first photograph is the orientation. I did rotate this in my program before putting it here, but I took this with portrait orientation instead of landscape. This creates the illusion of a floor or base, instead of showcasing a wall. Floors>walls every time, plus how many times are you going to find peeling paint on floors? Not too many. The second thing we find here in contrast to the first image is that the area of focus is larger than the previous. This is probably due to my holding the camera flush against the wall before pressing the shutter. A steady shot equals less blur and more interest for sure. Even the peeling paint is curling into cones and cylinders which creates a great variety with that ever-needed element of repetition. The specular highlights from the unpeeled paint give this piece a feel of liquidity and newness. For the old to co-exist with the new is to capture a social reality in aging materials. Those peels that sport the highlights in the foreground assist the eye in moving around the photograph. This photo gets a B.

 Thanks for sticking around and reading, looking, and commenting. I'll be working on a collaboration this summer, so look forward to seeing some design work. 

 Have fun and stay on earth,

                                           Shockgrubz 

Monday, December 17, 2012

You Guest Right!


Hello, you amazing Randoom people!

  I am both flabergasted and fascinated at how fast we've come to arrive here.

If any of you had a great time at a 12-12-12 party, I'm jealous because I totally forgot.

That's right, you can mark it down on your calendar that I, Shockgrubz, forgot to celebrate something.
Don't fret, I had a great time, whatever it was that I was doing.

Speaking of doing, I once spoke a promise to several people of providing a little guest post.

I've done it. Well, some of them. First up is Workingdan, Gluttondan, er, Dan from Shamefulpromotions.com and Sinquiry. If you don't know him, and never visited his site, do so now. If you don't, or are just waiting until you finish my post,I'll tell you that he's a great guy who represents life's joys and struggles in a very theraputic and fun-lovng way. I'dswear he and I were best friends in a previous life, if we existed previously. If so, I hope I came through on every promise I gave him then, as well.

I've procrastinated and procrastinated with the guest post enough that I'm fairly sure that he would take me off of the wall of shame.Hell, I remember him threatening to do so once in some comedic or serious extent. I'm amazed he's as patient as I am. I never thought I'd see the day I found someone with the same slow spirit of stubbornness and resilient poise that I exude, just like some thought they'd never see the guest post. I doubted myself at one point, creating elaborate excuses for the missing text. In the creation of some of those, I found that therapy was the theme.



 The particular piece was written through both fictional and non-fictional sources. I took experiences from a previous relationship to set the scenes. I had a girlfriend who was dying of cancer. Her previous lover had suddenly left her once the news of her terminal prognosis set in. I showed up in her life and became a shining beacon of eternal youth in a time of depressing reality.  She helped foster my artistic side, and treated all of my works with the utmost respect and accurate critisism.

 Near the end of our relationship, her previous lover had found life without her suddenly harsh and returned with his tail between his legs. I could not compete with the amount of history that he had with her, and although I did fight and cry to have her keep me, I lost her. She died a year later, leaving her newly wed husband and two kids from previous marriages to pick up the pieces. I found out of her eventual demise not long after, and  in the greiving process set a seed for this story.

 It deals with lovers, hair, secrets, and grief therapy. I took liberties to include my ever-so obvious obsession with onomatopoeia because I'm shamelessly proud of noises, and I am submitting this to Shameless Productions, after all. Please have a look.

  Inamorata

 I also promised Mark from The Rambling Person a guest post. I said it might be NSFW, but it ended up being SFW because I'm a chicken.

 Anyway, I really like Mark and his Immortal Space story is one of my favorites. Have a visit, and I dare you to like him and his ramblings as much as I do.

  Mark and I both the affinity for Sci-Fi in common, so I penned a little tale with some futuristic, but realistic elements.


 Shaze's Day at the Grocery


  Shaze is a twenty-five year old man who has shunned the traditional way of life for a more survivalist/slacker lifestyle. Although  his days aren't dictated by a 'boss', he still has to stand in state-aide lines and subject himself to the body of governmental medical  aid. In obtaining food assistance, Shaze checked a box labeled "Experimental Allowance" that was hidden on the back of the fifth page of the application. He did not keep reading the fine print after he saw that it would give him an additional fifty dollars a month for  food. If he would have kept going, he would have found out that he just waived his right to modify his own body. His body belonged to   the government, and to prove it, they inserted an RFID chip in his finger to make him one of the first in the experimental aide group.

   His finger had healed up and he had mostly forgot about the little encapsulated chip in his finger when he went to sleep the day before the seventh. His food aide came on the seventh and he couldn't wait to eat, so he dreamt of gorging on platters of the best bounties.
 
    *
 
    *

 I've also found that I am migrating OS and graphics programs. This is a jarring change, but has to happen before 12-21-12(FRIDAY!).  I'm now using Blender instead of CorelDream3d. The previous program was written and sold in 1997, so I was very overdue in changing Blender is  a very technical graphics suite , even more so than my old clunky program. My coding friend had suggested Blender this summer, and I told him I'd look it up. That ended up being a lot later. I don't know why I don't rush my searches for change, maybe stubborness. I ended up searching for "3d Sculpting" and it was on the front page. My first impression was "Why didn't I know about this sooner?" Probably because I hadn't searched before or listened to my friend.


 I'm in love with the program, but I'm also very challenged.  One of my issues is the very high learning curve. There are so many menus, sub-menus, tweaks, adjustments, bells and whistles that I don't know what to make from a lot of the program, but I'm picking it up in pieces at a time.

  Not to say I'm not practicing. I logged my practice hours in the week I've been working with it and it adds up to 80 hours. In a week?  Did I tell you I love this program already? 80 hours is proof. Also writing this post on the imbedded text editor is proof. I'll get  better, soon. I'll share my progress with you.

   Also, I'm jumping out of my OS portal to Linux. I've needed this change for a very long time. I was scared of terminal.  I don't know why, I used to enjoy the stuffing out of old MS-Dos, why wouldn't I hug up to a cute little penguin? Because windows spoiled me. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it. If I were forced to go to a command prompt before going into the GUI, then I wouldn't be so scared of the change. I've faced my fears enough to load a version of linux on a flash drive and test out the OS without
   fully migrating. I like it, but I've got to practice more to put it on my hard drive.
 
   This post is getting way long, so I'll say good-bye for now. If we survive the 12-21-12 I'll be partying like it was 12-20-21, and toasting to you!
 
 
 
 
 
   TL;DR
 
   Guest post for Working/Glutton/Dan- Inamorata*link to  be included after publishing
 
   Guest post for Mark- Shaze's Day at the Grocery
 
   Blender-I got it. I love it.
 
   Linux- I got it. Learning to love it.