Let's try some new words.

Antipedestrianism- A collective mindset shared by those who travel exclusively by vehicle in which they disregard pedestrians of every type, including not yeilding to foot traffic in crosswalks.

Tripartisan-An intellectual effort by political-minded individuals and groups to include independent parties into decision making proccesses, legislation creation, and overall consideration.

Tolerancist- A person who discriminates upon those who tolerate others due to political correctness or other societal pressures.

Distractions and Fear of Failure

 Heya!

 I'm so glad that I am able to be posting again. After losing my oh-so-sweet laptop to some thieves, I took a while to obtain this new temporary machine. It's really nothing(literally doesn't have a hard drive or a working battery), but it will have to get the job done for now.

 School has been very gracious to me. Since I'm such a late bloomer, it fits that I'm an elder freshman with little life experience to draw from. Sure, I've worked for more than two fortune 500 companies, had my fair share of apartments and duplexes, and a few too many scrapes with death, but in terms of the biggies( marriage and kids), I'm inexperienced.

 This works for me in school. I'm able to group myself with almost any of the other students and feel comfortable, save for the occasional distractions and fears.

 To elaborate, I've switched seats in one class so I could focus more on my work. I was sitting close to some younger students who seemed to talk a lot more than I was used to. So I moved around close to someone that was quieter. There was a hitch there, because in doing so I inadvertantly caused myself another distraction.

 Ever since grade school, I have been in love with infatuation. I could never seem to get over the crush, or even through the stages that brought normalcy to a relationship. Being a homeless starving artist, I didn't have much opportunity to surround myself with any chances to feed that addiction of adoration, but now I seem to get pulses of oxytocin when I crush on my favorite female. I guess I'll have to either move again or let my feelings be known. I doubt I'll do the latter because of my immense fear of failure.

 "Fear of failure is the beginning of failure itself", I told myself in a written quote the other day. It seems that once I embrace the anxious hesitation that accompanies thoughts of failing, everything falls into place to make that happen. It occoured during a crucial assignment in class. I had a breakdown of sorts in front of the teacher and my peers. As embarassing as that may seem, it would only be eclipsed by quitting(something I am not going to do). So, tomorrow I will be behind in my works and sitting on an island to myself. The trick will be to forget all that happenned and work happily and eagerly.

 That's it for now. I'd like to keep this blog and my other cobweb-filled site updated as much as possible(I don't know how any full-time students do it), so I'll see you all next time.

Why isn't it 2020 already?

 I know, I know, I'm impatient. But only for those things that seem to me that we're all missing out on right now. Like:

 Self Driving Google cars- These badboys on the street will cause all of the ne'er do-wells and actual law breakers currently on the asphalt to curse the powers that be,(kinda like how most people in cars look at me when I'm walking in the hundred degree heat).

 Floating cameras to catch the criminals- No more thinking "Why isn't there a policeman around when you need them?" because when something goes down, a drone will see it and have ol' Johnny Law there so fast it'll seem as if it were a planned ambush.

 Oprah world- Right now we call it Mars, but I'm sure in seven years that Oprah will be so upset about not receiving and Oscar that she will decide to create a new civilization on the red-planet.

 Japanese Olympics- Oh the bells and whistles! I am just in techno-heaven when I dream up how cool it's going to be when I drive my google car across the pacific ocean to attend the 2020 olympics. What are they going to do to change my life forever? Only time will tell.


 So, in short, I can wait seven years. I just don't want to.

On Tenacity

 Well, it finally paid off. All those times harping on the same thing and trying different things to get that one result have made the world part ways and allow me to go to school.

 You heard right, good ol' Shock is going to have a degree at some point in the not-so-far future(That is if things go well, and I'm going to make sure that they do.)

 Someone asked me what kind of job I'd get when I got out of school and I said "afterlife" because I do not see myself being anything other than a lifetime student. I will always be working towards getting better and having a sense of what I need to work on in life. Nobody's perfect, especially me and my stubborn brain.

 I raise the proverbial glass in the air, salute the powers that be and drink myself into an intellectual drunken stupor on all of the words, images, and ideas that I can now immerse myself into. It took so much time getting here that I didn't think it was ever possible, but now that I am here I can't see any other alternative. I must succeed because I've fought so hard just to get to this port of entry.

 That last post was more of a placeholder than anything else, and I'd like to replace it with something that makes a little more sense. This may make some sense, but it's some back petting that usually comes from the high of attaining a difficult thing.

 There's no more time for today, but I know that I will be here again to see and interact with all of you great people.

The Laugh Dance

Start

With a single laugh                               HA!

Dipping low, arms in front.

Wrists out, mouth to the stars.

Wiggle with a giggle as you rise.

Shake those arms!

Up, then down,                                      Ha!
Up, then down,                                      Ha!
In, then out,                                           Ha!
In, then out,                                           Ha!

Twirl with a mirthful laugh,                  Wee-HeeHee!
Touch the sky, then the floor,                Hee-Hee!
The floor, then sky,                               Hee-Hee!

Jump from the ground guffawing,        HoHo!
Swing those knees fro, then to,             HoHo!

Roofless Timebomb and Adult Sex-Ed Dream

 I wonder if my dreams mean something. I question if I'll be dreaming when I'm roofless. That's the word I've come up with because I've already become "homeless", but have always had a roof to sleep under. This time limit is like a time bomb ticking down to an impending implosion. I don't know which wires to snip, so I'm just sitting here entranced by the numbers counting down on the display. I sense a finality, but I know somehow I won't be around to hear the "Boom, Click, or Fizzle".

 Last night's dream was weird, but aren't they all? Remembering the yard scene, I see the anthill I approached. It was about eight inches tall by five inches in diameter. I called out to the others that I had found it, then kicked it into flying dust with my boot. Ants came out in every direction, sending me running to the trampoline. At the edge of the trampoline, I came upon a single albino giant ant that was stuck in the grass, waving it's limbs as if it were attempting to suck in air but failing.

 Next thing I know I'm in a traditional factory classroom. Adult sex-ed was the subject. I don't recall if I had a partner, or if people were involved in any hands-on training, but I do remember following a woman,(who belonged to someone else) down the hall, past the lockers to retrieve a blanket. Dragging the blanket on the shiny linoleum floor behind her, I found myself staring at her nudeness in an appreciative stare. Although I was aroused, I felt no impulse to take her or even suggest something of the sort. When we returned to the classroom someone had commented " I know why you wanted to help her", insinuation that the only reason I had agreed to escort her was so that I could get an eyeful of her natural beauty from behind. I didn't believe it to be so, but I didn't argue.

 I got sent on another errand, to give a message to the teller at the diner next door.  At the counter, I saw a long lost friend of mine, Micheal. He looked different because I had never seen him so thin or with freckles, but it was his voice and mannerisms. He was telling the cashier an involved story that seemed to border on bragging when I approached the window beside him. Another man, positioned on the other side of Mike, near the wall, had chimed in. When I called him by the wrong name, he paused with an embarrased reticence before he continued speaking with the teller. I then spoke my request to the red-haired woman behind the glass then made my way to the exit. Before leaving I saw a loving couple in a booth and wondered why they weren't in the class next door.

 Upon my return to the classroom I told someone that I was going to get a prostate exam. They told me that they'd never get one and acted as if it were exactly like paying a gay prostitute to "bust your butt cherry".

 I then woke up to the sound of a light switch being flipped.

Thank you, thieves

 I wanted to take this moment to write to the criminals that invaded my ex-roomate`s house two weeks ago.

 Dear criminals, I am grateful for your decision to kick in that door that dark Friday night. Without your shouts upon violently entering the domicile, I wouldn't have had the time to slip under that slim cot that partially hid me while you were in the other rooms.

 I also extend my gratitude for not turning the light on after kicking my bedroom door, somehow the darkness seemed to add a shroud of safety as you pointed the flashlights and guns around to locate my electronic devices.

 My thanks also goes out for your grilling my roomie as to my whereabouts. Without his replies of  "I don't know!", I would probably still think that he didn't give my life any value at all.

 If you would have believed his true claims of not owning jewelry, you'd have not searched my room well enough to spot those clean socks sticking out beneath that simple bed.

 Thank you for being so surprised at finding me that you both had to leave my handcuffed roomie in the other room to order me to empty my pockets of the four pennies that clattered on the floor as he made his mad dash to the neighbor's house to call the authorities.

Danke for turning tail and running just a split second after I made the decision to grab the weapon and turn it back upon you. I really didn't want to stain my sheets with crimson life fluids, yours or mine.

 Truth is, if you wouldn't have given into your immense feelings of desperation that night, I would probably still be there, feeling like a slave whose artistic flair and individuality had been quashed by an ungrateful and argumentative oppressor.

 The fresh sense of vigor and life that I feel today can partly be attributed to your rash actions in that remote area of this crime-ridden town. Although you have nothing to do with the invisible guardians that continue to deem me worthy of saving, they wouldn't have had that opportunity to save my life once again.

 So, even if you somehow find someone who will buy or barter for my ancient electronics, I want to thank you for causing me to step out of the comfortable zone of stagnation that is more deadly to me than those bullets in your guns.